Faster Than A Hobbit

Distance:  13.1

Time:  1:57:23

Pace: 8:54

Hobbits On The Course:  1

I am not a fan of Disney.  Disneyland rivals an oversold Southwest Airlines flight and Trader Joe’s on a Sunday afternoon in its ability to make me hate people.  And yet, on a whim, I find myself signed up to run the Disneyland half marathon.  Because who wouldn’t want to go to Disneyland on a major holiday weekend????  Daughter #2 turned 5 a couple weeks ago.  We told her the trip to Disneyland was part of her birthday present.  It’s not lying.  It’s parental multi-tasking.  So off to Disney we went on Saturday morning.  A five and a half hour drive made more bearable by my friend, Bandana, who hooked me up with a sweet Dodge Charger rental car.  A far preferable ride to Cali than my ancient Prius that’s pushing 150K miles.  (Though now the horsepower in my Prius seem insufficient.)  

I went into this race with exceptionally low expectations, both for my performance and for the overall experience.  I’ve been running quite a bit this summer because I’ve traveled a lot.  But I kind of gave up on pacing because . . . summer. And my longest run in the last couple months was only 8 miles.  So I wasn’t particularly trained for a half marathon and wasn’t expecting greatness in the timing arena.  As for experiences . . . well . . . Disney.  Ugh.  This view was reinforced when I showed up to pick up my race packet and was nearly run down more than once by grown women in sparkly princess wear pushing double-wide strollers.  

But I did immediately find some silver linings.  First, my previous half-marathon time of 1:50:04 scored me entry into Corral A (evidently the elites do not turn out for this race).  Not only that, but my race number of 412 (sorted by anticipated finishing time) meant that I got to go to the very first booth to pick up my race packet.  Most windows had lines for packet pick-up.  The 0-500 window?  Not a soul.   Second, Disney apparently takes pity on folks who pay $200 to register for a half marathon (no, not a typo) by giving us slightly discounted tickets and a break on room rates at the non-Disney properties around the parks.  I saved a little over $40 for our family’s tickets and was able to pick them up at the expo.  I navigated the expo, expertly avoiding stroller collisions, and met the family at Downtown Disney for lunch.  What a clusterf&#%.  We paid $100 for mediocre food and much needed wine, then checked in at the Anaheim Marriott.  

The Marriott was great.  The staff were super nice and it is just over a mile from the parks.  Our stay was made a little more interesting by the convention for recovering drug addicts going on this weekend.  There were some very inspirational (okay, interesting) tshirts.  And nuns.   After checking in, we went to Newport Beach so the girls could play in the ocean.  It did not disappoint, though both children got nailed in the face by powerful waves more than once, so they might disagree there.

(Pools in Phoenix do not have waves like this.)

We had a beach-side pasta dinner then headed back to the hotel for an early bedtime. Mo Jo will be happy to know I made all my race preparations that night:  making sure my bib (which held my timing chip) was properly affixed to my shirt and all my clothes were ready.  I also packed a bag of dry clothes and flip-flops for Husband #1 to bring to the finish line.  I’ve learned there’s nothing quite so divine as being able to shed wet running clothes and shoes within a few minutes of crossing the finish.

The next morning went off without a hitch.  Well, almost. No coffee shops were open before 5:00, so I had to settle for crappy hotel room coffee.  But other than that, it was great.  I had planned on just walking to the start line so my family could sleep, but ended up catching a shuttle right outside the hotel.  It was still very dark outside as the runners drowsily streamed through Downtown Disney to the start line (many adorned by glowing and/or blinking accessories).  And then I got to go through several check points to Corral A.  Yes, thanks for asking,I am very important.  The race announcers were trying to get everyone pumped up before the 5:30 am start, a tough job in Corral A.  Us expert runners were just so cool at the start – having done this hundreds of time before, at least.  One of the announcers yelled “WHO’S GOING TO SET A PERSONAL BEST TODAY????”  The response in Corral A was a resounding and unenthusiastic “meh.”  We all knew we weren’t going to PR at Disney.  They also announced that Sean Astin was running.  Cool!  A celebrity! 

(My race bib said "Corral A," but surprisingly, nobody asked me for my autograph.  Lame.)

And then we were off, Corral A going off one minute after the wheelchair racers.  The first 3-4 miles wound through Disneyland and California Adventures.  It was completely dark and the parks were beautiful.  There were many photo ops for runners to stop and take pictures with characters.  That involved stopping, so I skipped them all.  There were also race photographers every 50 feet or so.  I’m usually pretty good at spotting photographers and putting on a photo smile, but they were like ninjas.  I’m sure I will be rewarded with some hideous race pics.  Disney employees lined the dark pathways and enthusiastically cheered and offered high fives (with Mickey hands – ingenious for avoiding touching sweaty runner hands).  It was really cool to have such a supportive cheering section so early in the morning.  

It was humid.  By the end of mile 1, I was well on my way to being drenched with sweat even though I wasn’t breathing hard.  My plan was to run a 9:00 pace so I could squeak in under 2 hours.  In those early miles, I wasn’t sure I would be able to do that because I was sweating so heavily and thought it might be unsustainable, being prone to dehydration as I am.  Around mile 4 we turned out of the parks and on to the streets of Anaheim.  This opened up our space and allowed for a bit of a cooling breeze.  I was running just under a 9:00 pace and decided to go with it as long as I could.  The sun didn’t come up fully until about mile 7, which kept the temperature manageable.  I started drinking Powerade at mile 4 and walked most of the water stations while doing so.  

Because I was being a Disney grinch, I hadn’t bothered to check out the course.  It turned out to be pretty darn cool.  In addition to the early miles in the park, we actually ran into Angel Stadium and did a lap around the field.  The lower level of the stadium was packed with cheering fans.  I’m not sure how they got all those people there to cheer for random strangers, but it was amazing.  I felt like [I don’t follow baseball, so insert Angels player’s name here] rounding the bases after hitting a home run.  Even beyond the Disney crew and the Angels fans, the course support was fantastic.  There were numerous bands and cheer squads and members of the general public.  There were even a couple miles filled with a classic car club with their cars parked along the side the road.  They sat out there beeping and yelling at us from their classic cars, sipping their coffees, which I envied.  

The miles flew by as quickly as 13 miles ever can and before I knew it, I was heading back into Downtown Disney.  The humidity had taken its toll.  I could feel multiple chafing locations and a couple of blisters.  My clothes were drenched  and I was dreaming of the dry clothes awaiting me at the finish.  When the finish line came into view, I sprinted to it, got my medal, picked up  runners’ snacks (for the girls), and went to meet my family.  The girls were adorable – full of excited congratulations.  I did not share their enthusiasm, however, as Husband #1 had forgotten my bag of dry clothes.  Something I did not handle gracefully.  My mood improved slightly as we were leaving and I heard the announcer say Sean Astin was crossing the finish line.  I beat him.  Woot!  (He didn’t know we were racing each other, but that does not make my victory any less sweet.)

I walked the 1.3 miles back to the hotel in my dripping clothes and climbed into the shower, where the water scalded numerous points of my body that were newly deprived of skin.  Then I downed some Pedialyte and we hit up Disneyland (walking the 1.3 miles back).  The temperature climbed to 90 degrees.  By 2:00, I was done.  We hit the room for a bit and then returned at night for the parade and fireworks, this time finally taking the shuttle.  I am pretty sure I cleared 20 miles Sunday.  

I am still not a fan of Disneyland.  The lines were insane and many of the tourists were oblivious or downright rude.  The food was overpriced. The Haunted Mansion was closed.  But the kids had a great time (which is good, because we won’t come back for 5 years).   And the race itself surprised me.  It was exceptionally well-organized and fun.  Plus, I did more than victoriously race a hobbit.  (Though I did get beat by a few people in costume.)  I finished 1,027 out of over 15,000 racers and 260th in my division (1,398 people).  The race was a confidence booster, for sure.  I might even consider doing it again in the future.