Top Ten Things Slo Jo And Toe-Shoes Tina Learned On The Road To NOLA

Judging by internet headlines these days, everybody loves a good "Top Ten" (or twenty or seventeen or whatever) list.  Ever suckers for clickbait, Slow Jo and Toe-Shoes Tina have created their own Top Ten lists for your edification and amusement.  So, with no further delay:

Slo Jo's Top Ten:

1. Get some shoes that work. You want your toes to look pretty? Then get them with a big enough toe box. My running shoe size is a full size above my regular shoe size. Also, get them from a running store with employees who know what they are doing, not some teenager who is making minimum wage and texting his girlfriend that she looks adorbs.
2. You’re not going to run a marathon on a low-carb diet. Quinoa for breakfast? Sounds good to me.
3. Body Glide is your BFF. LOVE it. Can’t run without it. Also chomps. Also a dorky hydration belt. What happened to the advice that all you need is a pair of running shoes and you can run? Now I have all this gear. 
4. Running will make you discover muscles you never knew you had, usually when you get a pain in an area that has never, ever hurt before.
5. You can run for hours. I thought it would be a conditioning thing. It is all mental. It is not so much about physical toughness as the ability to endure hours of boredom with low-level discomfort.
6. You don’t need IT bands. It is acceptable to ask to have them removed.
7. People who don’t run are super judge-y about marathons and like to tell you why they are bad for you. Oh, it’s bad for the joints. Oh, your heart only has so many beats. I’ll tell you what’s bad for you. My fist in your face. (Just kidding. I’m not a puncher. That’s TST.)
8. You need running buddies, preferably chatty ones, so the running is less boring and the time passes. Also, it is good to have to meet someone, or sometimes the running doesn’t get done.
9. Beware ladies dancing with rakes. Not cads. The lawn implement.
10. Your friends and family who supported you through training and finishing a marathon are even better BFFs than Body Glide. And that is saying something. 

TST's Top Ten

1. Running is an individual sport, but I wouldn’t be able to do it without the love and support of family and friends.  
2. You don’t have to have washboard abs to run a 1:50 half marathon.  Conversely, just because you can run at a runner’s pace does not mean you will have a runner’s body.
3. My race photos are much more flattering if I run in sunglasses.
4. I am both stronger and faster than I ever dreamed.
5. There is no shame in crying or dry heaving.
6. Running gear might seem pricey, but it is worth every penny.
7. If you sweat enough, you will be medically justified in scoffing at the RDA for sodium.  Now pass the chips.  
8. Toes are overrated and wine is underrated.
9. Audiobooks make me look forward to long runs.  Also, Lee Child knows nothing about women.  *shrug*
10. Suffering is rewarding.