Distance: 26.2 Miles
Pace: 12:06 avg
Total time: 5:16:50
And here it is, finally: the race report! It's a long blog, but you should read to the end or skip to the end--because I want to thank you for your support getting me to the finish line. And that comes at the end!
We arrived in New Orleans on Friday afternoon and
promptly tucked into some chargrilled oysters and drinks at the Royal House
Oyster Bar. Dinner was at Cochon.
I had a drink called The Swinekiller, then
had some pork topped with pork cracklins. TST refused my kind offer to share my cracklins. She's not so big
on swine.
We returned to the French Quarter for a drink at
Lafitte's, where we met up with Channing and Reno. Channing lives in New Orleans--her name will be explained in a minute--and Reno, who lives in Reno, was visiting her. Both were planning to run the half on Sunday. Somehow we ended up at Channing Tatum's bar,
Saints and Sinners, which features a large portrait of...Channing Tatum.
Channing Tatum in a fedora. I took a picture for your viewing pleasure.
(You're welcome.)
Saturday we spent shopping and not drinking. Let me tell
you how easy it is to be in the Big Easy and not drink alcohol. Not easy! So
many bars...we walked longingly passed Pat O'Briens and what seemed like a
thousand other places to drink.
(No drinks, but I did find this excellent real estate sign.)
But the deal was one glass of wine with dinner
and that was IT. The marathon was the next day. Had to be hydrated.
After a delicious dinner at Sylvain, with shrimp and popcorn rice and these really wonderful almonds, we went back to the hotel. I carefully laid out all my stuff and pinned my race
number to my running shirt. I had brought two shirts, and one was dirty! My marathon dreams were coming true. Anyway, I chose the clean one. TST looked at me carefully pinning on my number and said, "Oh, are you
doing that already?" Yes. I also affixed my timing chip to my shoe so my
other dream, where I had failed to put my number on and had no time, would not
come true. We watched the weather--50% chance of rain--watched a Jimmy Fallon special, and went to bed at 9 .
We woke up the next morning after a troubled sleep--I'm
pretty sure a marching band came down Royal Street during the night for some reason--and it was go time! I had a cup of
coffee, a banana, and a Kind bar. I really wanted a second cup of coffee but I
didn't want to have to pee ever again. It wasn't raining, but fog had rolled in. It was
100% humidity.
(View of the start line. You can sort of see how foggy it is.)
Made it to the corrals, where we separated. My corral was
15, so there was a lot of waiting. I was next to a guy with BO, and I spent the time waiting by wondering how his deodorant could possibly have already failed before the race. Maybe it
was the humidity? I was warm, under my running jacket, and wondered if I should
strip it off. But my iPhone was safe from the rain in its pocket. I ended up
taking off the jacket and tying it around my waist, and putting the iPhone in
an extra Ziploc bag I had shoved in my pocket.
We slowly, slowly approached the start. I got my watch
ready for timing and started my music.
Crossed the start line and started to run! My focus for
each race at the start is not to go out too fast. I checked my watch
constantly for my pace. It was very, very crowded on the course. Lots of
runners. Lots of charity groups. And lots of clumps of walkers.
Race etiquette needs to be prominently posted on signs.
Things like, hey walkers, get right. Don't stop abruptly. Don't stop to do a
killer dance move right in front of an approaching runner (this happened and I collided with the killer dancer). Don't walk abreast
in a group of four so everyone has to run around you. I ran about ten extra miles just
weaving around people.
At mile 3, my watch said 36 minutes had elapsed. So that
was fine, but I felt I could pick up the pace a little.
10K: 1:11:18. Avg pace: 11:15
I increased my speed and relaxed into a comfortable pace for the next few miles. The fog settled in.
The race people had put a giant inflated monkey over the course we ran
through--couldn't even see it until we got close and it loomed out of the fog.
We ran through the French Quarter through the eerie cloud. My skin was soaked, but the temperature was perfect.
The spectators got a
lot more interesting in the French Quarter. There was a guy in a shiny purple cape standing still as a
statue. Drunk people happily cheered us on. The Mississippi River was invisible to our right, and Jackson Square
invisible to the left.
10M: 1:54:09 Avg pace: 11:20
Things were still feeling pretty good. I couldn't wait until the half marathon people finished and the course cleared out. I was passing a lot of people, and that felt good. I was thinking, why don't you people pick it up a little bit? You only have three more miles! Of course, at mile 23, that reasoning got me nowhere.
But then when it finally happened, and the course split in two for the half marathoners and the fulls, it was a bit emotional for me. I was relieved that the course would be far less congested. But I was feeling so proud of myself that I was part of the smaller group doing the full! I happily trotted along in the left lane while the half marathoners took the right, feeling awesome.
Half Marathon: 1:28:43. Avg pace: 6:42
Some friends were following my pace by text, and
apparently they got a text that I ran the half in 1:28. Sadly, no one believed
it.
Actual Half Marathon: 2:28:43. Avg pace: 11:10.
2:28 was fine with me for the half, and I still hoped to break five hours
for the full. But then shit started to hurt.
I had pain in my foot where I was getting a blister on
the heel of my foot. My knees hurt. My right hip ached. I took some Advil after
trying to tough it out a while--I'd say to myself, you can have Advil if it
still hurts in another half mile. Then I took it. Then I took some more.
The course took us through a gorgeous park where the
giant trees hung massive limbs over the road, and then next to Lake
Pontchartrain. We could only see about ten yards of it due to the fog, but it
was nice to see it. And the course was an out and back, so we could see the
fast runners coming back. Some of them have really crazy gaits. You wouldn't
think they'd be so fast. They were all super skinny, too. They should try running with extra pounds, like I have to. Not as easy!
Coach had warned me not to attempt any heroic speed
efforts at Mile 16, where he said I would be feeling good if I had hung back in
the first half. Apparently I had not hung back, because there was no risk of my
attempting any feats of speed at Mile 16. None. I was getting tired, and I knew I was getting slower. I just tried to hang on to 12s.
Then the hills started.
We were promised a flat course! Flat! Apparently they say
that because you gain and lose the elevation so you end up with a net elevation
change of 12 feet. They didn't mention all the freaking hills and bridges. Or
the headwinds. The bridges were a bear. I started off running them. In fact,
TST saw me on her way back in (I missed her because I was trying to breathe),
and said I looked strong. I would be walking those bridges later on.
I decided Mile 17 was my nemesis. It was another hill and
just seemed to go up forever and ever.
Just after Mile 19, we got to turn around. This was another happy moment. We had turned the corner! I could see all the runners coming up behind me! They looked worse than I felt! I took some
more Advil to celebrate.
20 Miles: 3:55:56 Avg pace: 12:39
These last six
miles were so hard.
I started being unable to do things like close the zipper on my hydration belt after getting out my Chomps. I needed a ton of water every rest stop and
drained the containers on my hydration belt. I would think, only six more
miles! And then remember that was gonna take more than an hour. I was doing the
Slo Jo plod. Every now and then I would remember to straighten my back, which
helped. But it was painful and slow.
Around Mile 22, a woman appeared dressed in black holding
a large rake. Other people were using rakes to rake up the empty cups runners toss near the garbage, but this lady was more creative--she was doing a Rake Dance. She waved the rake in the air and in a circle around her body, her hips moving in time with the rake. As I approached, she began raking
the air in front of me as if she were drawing me toward her. She announced,
"Martinis ahead!" and raked me toward her. As I passed, all the air
left my body and I had an asthma attack.
Ever had an asthma attack? They are terrifying. My breath
suddenly sounded like this: "HuuuuuuuuEEEEEEEEE ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
HuuuuuuuuuuhEEEEEEEE ahhhhhh."
Loud and wheezing and no air. Meanwhile,
well meaning onlookers were trying to offer me a damn martini.
"HuuuuuuuuhEEEEEEEEEEEEEE gaaaaaaaaaah," I said, waving them off. I was too busy trying to stay calm and live at that point.
I realized, through gasps, that the
woman with the rake had not been waving me in.
She was RAKING OUT MY SOUL.
I kept walking through it, not wanting to stop even though I was
unable to breathe, because the marathon psychosis had me at that point. No
stopping. No medical. I will be fine. And it did stop, and I immediately started plodding
again.
Miles 22 and 23 were about moving, and when I looked at my watch later, these were my slowest miles. I must have looked
pretty miserable, because I started getting a ton of encouragement. "Not
far now!" said an older man walking his Golden Retriever. "You look
strong! You are almost there!" lied the Leukemia Lymphoma coaches. (They
were so great. I forgive your charity teams for walking in clusters.) "You
got this!" said other kind spectators. It was helpful because I was not
really believing in myself at this point. Walking seemed like such a wonderful
thing. But I kept plodding because I thought, I am NEVER RUNNING A DAMN MARATHON AGAIN so I might as well try this time.
At Mile 24, I finally got a second wind and picked it up a
little. At Mile 25, I told myself, you can get there under 5:15 if you try. At
Mile 25.5, I decided I did not give a fig about beating 5:15 and finishing was
good enough. I ran the last mile around the park and into the chute, fighting
nausea and doing my best. I smiled for the camera and crossed the finish line.
I heard my name and saw that TST, Channing, and Reno were there
cheering my finish. Reno told me she had a beer for me, which was amazing, but I had to work on not puking for a minute. I got a banana and some chocolate milk and
water and got wrapped in a Mylar blanket so I wouldn't get chills once I started to
cool down. Then I had the best sit down of my life.
FINISH: 5:16:50
Avg Pace for last leg: 13:03
Avg pace overall: 12:06
Texts started pouring in from friends and family as well as Facebook messages. I felt like you all were with me. Thanks so much for being on this journey with me. I can't believe I did it. But knowing you had all supported me along the way meant a great deal to me, and you helped when times were dark. You know, like when I had my IT band issue, or when I had my soul sucked out by the rake lady. And you were there cheering me to the finish. I appreciate it so much!! Special shout out to Coach, Flash, Pixie, E, F, K, CC, and of course TST, who got me off the couch in the first place. THANK YOU.
Much love,
Slo Jo
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